Marriage & Couples Counseling in Minneapolis: What Your First Session Is Really Like

Schedule your complimentary introductory phone call with Lisa by clicking here.

If you’re searching for marriage counseling in Minneapolis or couples therapy near you, chances are something feels hard right now.

Maybe you’re stuck in the same argument on repeat.
Maybe things feel distant and tense.
Maybe you’re walking on eggshells — or quietly wondering how you got here.
Maybe your relationship has hit a crisis — such as an affair or another relationship betrayal — and everything feels uncertain.

Reaching out for relationship counseling can feel vulnerable. Most couples don’t come in feeling calm and optimistic. They come in feeling discouraged, frustrated, scared, or simply tired of missing each other.

If that’s you, you’re not alone.

I’m Lisa Kleingarn, a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Relation Works Therapy in Minneapolis. I specialize in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, helping partners reconnect, repair, and feel emotionally safe with each other again.

Here’s what you can expect in your first session.

Why Couples Seek Marriage Counseling

Couples begin therapy for many reasons:

• Ongoing conflict that never seems to resolve

• Emotional distance or loneliness

• An affair or other relationship betrayal

• Parenting stress or blended family challenges

• Life transitions that create disconnection

• Wanting to strengthen the relationship before things worsen

You don’t have to be on the brink of separation to start therapy. Many couples come in because they value their relationship and want support before resentment deepens.

Seeking counseling isn’t a sign that your relationship has failed. It’s often a sign that it matters.

What to Expect in Your First Couples Therapy Session

The first session of marriage counseling isn’t about fixing everything right away.

It’s about slowing down.
It’s about understanding.
It’s about creating enough safety to begin untangling what’s happening between you.

Here’s what that usually looks like:

We talk about what brought you in

I’ll ask thoughtful questions and listen carefully — not to determine who’s right, but to understand the emotional experience each of you is having in the relationship.

Both partners are heard

Many couples worry therapy will turn into a debate or that the therapist will take sides. That’s not how I work. My role is to help both of you feel understood and to guide conversations in a way that lowers defensiveness rather than increases it.

We begin identifying your negative cycle

In Emotionally Focused Therapy, we focus on patterns — not blame.

Every couple has a negative interaction cycle. One partner pursues, the other withdraws. One criticizes, the other shuts down. One protests, the other becomes distant.

The cycle is the problem — not either of you.

In early sessions, we begin mapping this pattern so we can work with it directly and start creating new interactions.

How Emotionally Focused Therapy Helps Couples Reconnect

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is one of the most research-supported approaches to couples counseling.

But more importantly, it works because it addresses what truly drives relationship distress: attachment and emotional safety.

Under anger is often fear.
Under criticism is often longing.
Under withdrawal is often overwhelm or shame.

When couples can share those deeper emotions safely — especially after long-standing conflict or betrayal — something shifts. Defensiveness softens. Conversations slow down. Connection begins to feel possible again.

EFT isn’t about surface-level communication tricks. It’s about restoring emotional safety so closeness can grow naturally.

What Couples Counseling Is Not

Marriage counseling is not:

• A place where the therapist chooses sides

• A courtroom for proving who’s wrong

• A space where one partner is labeled “the problem”

• A quick fix

It’s a place to understand your bond more clearly and interrupt the reactive patterns that keep you stuck.

I won’t push you toward a specific outcome. My role is to help you slow the cycle down and make thoughtful decisions from a place of clarity — not reactivity.

Starting Couples Therapy in Minneapolis

If you’re considering marriage counseling in Minneapolis, it’s normal to feel hesitant.

Many couples arrive unsure whether therapy will help. But the fact that you’re looking means some part of you still cares deeply about this relationship.

That matters.

At Relation Works Therapy, I provide couples therapy in Minneapolis using Emotionally Focused Therapy to help partners:

• Reduce conflict and step out of painful cycles

• Find their way forward after an affair or relationship betrayal

• Deepen emotional intimacy and feel close again

• Strengthen long-term security in their relationship

If you’re ready to explore next steps, I offer a free 20-minute consultation to see whether we’re a good fit.

You don’t have to be in crisis to begin.
You just have to be willing to start: Schedule your complimentary introductory phone call with Lisa by clicking here.